


Boneshatter Cave

by Zilchtastic



Category: Elder Scrolls V: Skyrim
Genre: Banter, Gen, Male-Female Friendship
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-07-07
Updated: 2016-07-07
Packaged: 2018-07-22 03:50:53
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,825
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7418704
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Zilchtastic/pseuds/Zilchtastic
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Just a bit of adventuring with Kellin Whiteraven, the Dovahkiin, and Inigo the Brave, her stalwart Khajiit companion. What mysteries lie in the depths of Boneshatter Cave, and will they live to find fortune and glory?</p>
            </blockquote>





	Boneshatter Cave

**Author's Note:**

> If you've never played Skyrim on PC with mods, you may not know Inigo. He's a mod-created follower with some of the best lines in the game. He's friendly, funny, and fiercely loyal to your character. I just had to write something with the two of them on a little adventure. 
> 
> Also, he has a dragonfly in a jar named "Mr. Dragonfly". He talks to it. Inigo is a liiiittle loopy. 
> 
> You can download him yourself over at Skyrim Mod Nexus!

Kellin Whiteraven, Nord adventurer, stepped into the Bee and Barb in Riften, shaking the rain from her sodden cloak.

"Welcome, stranger--" Talen-Jei broke off when she pulled back her hood, revealing short, nearly white hair. "Oh. You. What do _you_ want here?"

Talen-Jei had never quite forgiven her for that whole incident with Keerava and the Theive's Guild, and he glared at her now with barely-disguised reptilian disgust. Kellin shrugged, trying to look innocent. After all, she'd brought the man the materials for his wedding ring. Shouldn't that make them square?

"Oh, let it go," Keerava snapped from the bar. "She's trouble, but at least she's trouble we _know_."

Talen-Jei grumbled something in Argonian, probably an insult to whatever mother had hatched a brute like Kellin. Kellin held up her hands in defeat. "Look, all I want is to get dry and have a drink or ten. Surely you're still willing to take my septims?"

Talen-Jei made a face; for an Argonian, it passed for a weak grin. "Ahh, yesss. We've plenty of food for the hungry, and drink for the thirsty-- _if_ you've got the coin."

Kellin patted her coin-purse; it clinked in a satisfying way. Talen-Jei's expression softened somewhat. "Have a seat, land-strider. What can I get you?"

Kellin grinned and lowered her aching frame into one of the chairs. The Bee and Barb was quiet tonight-- of course, it was after midnight, so proper folk were probably already bedded down at home or at Haelga's Bunkhouse. None of the patrons looked her way as she swung her dripping cloak over the back of the chair, revealing ebony armor underneath. The rain tonight was cold; probably the streets would be slick with ice come morning.

Talen-Jei was still waiting with threadbare patience for her order. Kellin ducked her head, trying to look contrite. "Got any new drinks on the menu, O master of alchemy?"

The flattery worked. Talen puffed out his chest. "I've added three to our menu-- two experiments, and one local favorite. Shall I list them off for you?"

Kellin wiggled her toes in her boots, trying to get the feeling back into them. "Please do."

Talen-Jei beamed. "The first is called Altmer Tea-- it's a concoction of black tea and lemon chilled with icewraith teeth, then topped off with honey and a generous shot of whiskey. The second, and my personal favorite, is the Two Moons: Argonian bloodwine, spiced wine imported from Solitude, honey, and a sprinkling of red and purple mountain flower petals. The third, which has become something of a favorite, is called the Ice Wolf. It's cream, Black-Briar mead, a touch of moon sugar, and the tiniest sprinkle of frost salts. Perfectly safe to drink, I assure you." He lifted his chin, obviously proud of his inventions.

"The Two Moons," Kellin said, sinking down in her chair. "Served hot, if you don't mind."

"Of course. As it should be." Talen-Jei left to fetch her drink.

Kellin sighed. Her fingertips were still red with cold, and she couldn't stop herself from sniffling. Oh, how she envied Inigo's fur on nights like this!

Speaking of her partner, the rear door swung open, letting in a blast of icy rain-smelling air along with a tall blue-black furred Khajiit male. He grinned his feline grin when he saw Kellin and rushed over to her table.

"More trouble," Kellin heard Keerava grumble, but it was said in an eye-rolling tone.

"My friend! What perfect timing!" Inigo the Brave (or so he liked to fancy himself) took the chair opposite Kellin, shaking out his Bosmer shoulder cloak just as Kellin had done. "The night is wet, and very cold. It smells like ice-- and like coin. Have you been waiting long?"

"Just ordered a drink," Kellin replied, and Inigo nodded eagerly. He signaled to Keerava with a grand gesture. "I will have what my friend is having! Drinks are on me this night!"

Kellin sat up straighter in her chair. "You're in a fine mood. What, did you trip over a sack of gold?"

Inigo grinned again, whiskers raising. "Better yet. I have found a cave!"

Kellin's heart sank. "A cave," she repeated, tone as dry as she could make it. "As if we've never been in some dank hole in the ground before."

"Your sarcasm is noted," Inigo said, "but it is unfounded. This is a cave of _wonders_ , my friend. A cave to make us rich indeed!"

"How do you know?"

Inigo tapped his nose with one clawed finger. "My nose, she never lies. I could practically smell the jewels within. The echoes, they sang me songs of gold and glory!"

Kellin stared at him, hard. Lesser men flinched under her icy green stare, but not Inigo. Talen-Jei arrived with their drinks; Inigo didn't even ask what it was, he just took a hearty swig and then banged his tankard on the table with gusto.

"What sort of cave?" Kellin asked, warily.

"Well," Inigo hedged, "you know the sort. They all look rather the same from the outside. Rocks, mushrooms, the occassional rotting human torso on a pike..."

Kellin rubbed at her forehead. "That could be anything, Inigo. Bandits, trolls, necromancers... _Vampires._ " She took a swig of her own drink, finding it really quite good. "Necromancer vampires, even. I hate those."

"At least it is not hagravens," Inigo countered amiably. "Or spiders. You hate spiders a great deal."

She _did_ hate spiders. Too big, too many legs. Too spitty and screechy.

"Okay. So let's say we check out this cave of yours. What makes you think it's full of gold and not just half-eaten farmers?"

"I heard a rumor," Inigo said, voice sly, dropping to a whisper. "Two bandits were talking. They said their leader was stashing their takings there, but no one would ever find it."

"But you did?"

"I was very persuasive. The first bandit only said "Gargh!" as I impaled him on my sword, but the second bandit, he was very willing to talk. He said the place was called Boneshatter Cave, and admitted it had been made up to look like a necromancer's lair."

Kellin gulped more of her drink. The honey really did make it go down easy. "He say anything else?"

"Mostly things like "do not kill me" and "argh"," Inigo said.

"Of course. But you scouted out the cave?"

"That I did, my friend! It was very cleverly disguised. I thought the wolf skulls lining the entrance were a very authentic touch."

Kellin sighed and finished off her drink. "Fine. We'll check it out tomorrow. But if this is just another cave full of unwashed bandits in stinky hide armor, I swear I'll skin you and wear _your_ pelt."

Inigo tilted his head, still smiling. "Have I ever lead you wrong before? Now, have another drink. Even Mr. Dragonfly thinks you could use one."

***

The rain let up some time before dawn, but the air was frosty and their breath steamed as they walked. The golden autumn leaves around Riften bore a subtle lining of frost. Winter was coming, as if it ever really left the cold lands of the Nords.

Inigo sniffed the breeze excitedly. "Ah, the morning air, it smells of rotting leaves and ripened gourds! How I love the Rift!"

One place was as good as another to Kellin, but she had to admit all the trees were pretty. The sun had just begun to burn off the frost when Inigo signalled for her to halt.

"It was just around here," Inigo said, amber eyes casting about the rocky glacier-carved hills. "I remember a standing stone, and-- Ah, here we are! We have arrived!"

The cave mouth was narrow, barely wide enough for a slender woman like Kellin to slide in sideways. It had indeed been lovingly decorated to scare away would-be explorers-- still-bloody skulls grinned down from small ledges in the rock, and fat melting candles glowed in tapered iron candelabras. Someone had even inscribed something that looked like a casting circle in the dirt, although it lacked the thrum of energy that would mean it was truly magical.

"Can you smell the riches, my friend?" Inigo said, puffing in a huge breath.

"All I smell is dead, rotting things," Kellin replied. She glared at one of the skulls, this one human. "This better be worth it, Inigo."

A barrel just inside the cave contained only a few wilting carrots. Not a promising start, Kellin thought. She readied her sword in one hand and dagger in the other. No point in being caught by surprise.

They crept slowly in, Kellin eyeing the ground for pressure plates and tripwires. Bones hung from the ceiling, ready to rattle as they passed to alert any within of intruders. Everything smelled of dirt and greasy tallow from the candles lining the path.

"No sight of anyone so far," Kellin murmured _sotto voce_. "You think maybe everyone's out raiding caravans?"

"I think they will have _some_ guards," Inigo whispered back, "but perhaps they are further in."

Kellin frowned. Something about this just didn't feel right.

They passed a small section of cavern set up like a bar, with a wooden counter and rickety-looking chairs. Bottles of mead, mostly empty, littered the ground. There was no one in sight.

They found the first body in a little alcove set up like a latrine. The orc bandit slumped against one wall, pants around his ankles, throat cut. Kellin could feel the place between her shoulder blades starting to itch. "I don't like the looks of this."

Inigo shifted nervously from foot to foot. "Could it be that someone got here before us?"

"If so, they may've already made off with whatever loot there was to be had." But that wasn't the biggest problem. This death scene was all wrong, too sneaky, too... professional. Not the Thieves' Guild, definitely, and not some random bandit either. They didn't have this kind of finesse. Kellin examined the bloody floor. A book lay there, soaked in red. She toed it closed: _The Yellow Book of Riddles._ It almost made her feel sorry for this random highwayman, dead in a stinking latrine, killed while reading an innocent book.

"Let's press on," she said, grim. "I want to know what happened here."

The smell of damp rot eventually gave way to the almost dry, coppery tang of blood as they went. There were more bodies-- this one in her bed, expression startled, as if woken from a sound sleep; that one still slumped against a wall, mace fallen to the ground from numb fingers. All bore throat wounds, though some were slashed while others appeared to have been... bitten. Ravaged, more like, torn out by sharp teeth. Kellin knew what that meant.

"I do not like this, my friend," Inigo whispered.

"You and me both," Kellin replied. "I think we've got us a vampire infestation."

The path narrowed and then abruptly widened into a larger chamber. They were on a rise and could see down into the "room", which had been decorated to look like a grand (if grisly) feast hall. A long table dominated the room, with seating for at least twelve. The table groaned under the weight of cheeses, wine bottles, venison steaks, horker loaves, and other, bloodier things-- Kellin could see human skulls adorned with more greasy-smelling candles, and the silver platter at the center held what looked like the bloody remains of a human rib cage.

"Vampires," Kellin hissed. "I hate these guys."

Movement, from one corner of the room. A woman with the glowing eyes of a master vampire strode haughtily into the room from a passage Kellin hadn't seen from her angle. "Well, boys?" the woman purred. "What shall it be tonight? We're almost out of bandits, and their stupid chief is none the wiser. Still, I don't think he'll send any more for "defense" of his treasures. Whatever shall we do for supper?"

A man in dirty black robes drew a knife, gesticulating with it wildly. "Riften. Riften, I say. Full of fat, slow merchants and petty thieves. Easy pickings, if you ask me."

Inigo was shaking with rage, hand reaching for his ebony bow. Kellin put a hand on his arm and mouthed the words _Not yet_.

"I think you underestimate them," said the woman, obviously the leader. "Perhaps we should send the thralls out to scour the roads. There are still plenty of travelers this time of year, headed through the rift."

" _Armed_ travelers," the other vampire protested. "Caravans, with guards. We can't attack _them_ \--"

"We can," the master vampire smirked, "if we make it look like a bandit attack, my dear Joris."

Another vampire piped up, a small woman in leather armor. She had black hair and would've been pretty if not for the glowing eyes and scrunched-up vampire nose. "There are only three of us, plus our four thralls. Is that enough to take a whole caravan? The last one I saw had Khajiit guards in full plate armor."

"So we pick a smaller target. A merchant, alone on the road." The master put her hands on her shapely hips. "A traveler, on his way to see family in Riften. No one will be the wiser, if we just take all their shiny little baubles like we did before. The hold's guards will shake their heads and complain of bandits on the road, and we'll have a feast, like I promised you."

"I do not think so," Inigo said loudly, rising to his feet and drawing his bow in one smooth motion. Kellin winced. _Here we go again_ she thought.

Inigo's first glass arrow went through the throat of the male vampire, who gurgled and went down, dropping like a a ragdoll.

"Thralls!" Cried the master vampire. "Thralls, kill them!"

Three humans and one orc rushed into the room. Inigo let another arrow fly but the orc had a shield; the arrow shattered harmlessly against it. The other three were running up the dirt ramp to their position, swords and war picks drawn.

Kellin sprang to her feet, Orcish sword and dagger drawn. She'd enchanted the blades just yesterday; one burned with magical fire, while the other drained life from the opponent. Just the thing for fighting vampires, she thought, and then the first thrall was upon her.

He'd been a bandit, once-- how he'd escaped the dinner table, Kellin didn't know. He slashed at her with a steel broadsword, and she only just managed to duck in time to keep her head on her shoulders. That explained things, then-- the thralls were the best fighters, ready to defend their vampire masters to the death. Kellin feinted with her dagger, then exploited the thrall's open left side; her sword cut deep, and the man cried out in rage and pain.

Inigo was raining a hailstorm of arrows; he'd switched from glass to exotic, and the sound of fiery explosions was loud in the cavern, throwing the room into chaos. The master vampire screamed orders but was drowned out by each hit, which threw fire and shrapnel across the room.

Kellin jerked her sword deeper into the thrall's side; his numb fingers dropped his broadsword, and as she kicked him off the blade she saw the light of life fade from his eyes. _Three more thralls, two more vampires,_ Kellin thought.

The orc rolled past Inigo, coming up with shield and mace at the ready. Oh, this one was _good_. Kellin threw a couple of weak jabs, trying to get past his shield, but he kept it firmly in place and avoided the stabs. He grinned at her over the top of the shield, tusks yellow and small eyes filled with hate. "Master will reward me for killing you," he grated in a voice like falling rocks.

He was good with a shield, but he wasn't very smart. Inigo gave a roaring war cry and drew his ebony sword, charging the orc thrall from behind. The orc only just managed to dodge it, jerking sideways so that the blow sliced his arm instead of taking him in the back. But now he had a fight on both sides, and he was going to slip up eventually.

The master vampire continued to screech out orders and threats. "I'll lick your bones dry, Nord bitch! And I'll have your pretty kitty made into a throw for my bed!"

"I do not think I will become a rug today," Inigo muttered, slashing at the orc's open side and forcing him to shift his shield to avoid the blows. Kellin saw her opportunity-- a split second of a chance. She lunged in and plunged her dagger into his neck. The orc tried to roar, gurgled instead, and went down twitching. His shield clanged loudly on the floor.

Kellin kicked his body over the side to crash down on the lavish dinner table. She didn't want him getting back up when her back was turned. 

The other two thralls were charging up the ramp, heedless of their dead comrades. Kellin had a brief moment to look around. The other vampire, the pretty one-- where had she gone?

Something far too heavy struck her from behind, answering that question. "I'll drain your blood!" the thing shrieked wildly, clawing at Kellin's back but stymied by the ebony armor. "I'll drink it from a silver goblet, you--!"

Kellin got an elbow back, punching hard into the unarmored vampire's side. A wet snap indicated breaking ribs, but the vampire would heal in time. She had to be finished off.

Kellin scrambled ungracefully to her feet. The pretty vampire clutched at her ribs and hissed at her like a cat, all glowing amber eyes and fangs and menace. Inigo would just have to deal with the other two thralls for now. Kellin had work to do.

She feinted again with her dagger, then slashed with her sword. The vampire fell for the trick-- she was no fighter-- and Kellin scored a nasty cut from shoulder to hip. The vampire shrieked in rage and pain. "Human dirt!" she screeched. "My master will kill you! We'll feast on your--"

Kellin feinted with the sword this time, going for a chop across the vampire's face. She ducked back-- leaving her injured midsection wide open. Kellin threw herself forward and plunged the dagger home.

The pretty vampire whined, helpless, as the dagger drained her heart's blood away. Her head lolled to one side; her body went limp. Kellin pulled out the dagger and then used it to slash the vampire's throat, just in case.

"My friend!" Inigo called from down the ramp. "I could very much use your assistance!"

Kellin raced down the ramp to where Inigo fought two brawny thralls in heavy armor. One of them turned to her, sneering, and she saw her opening-- a gap between chest and armpit. She feinted, ducked under a sword-swing, and then came up and plunged her dagger home again.

_At this rate I'll have to recharge the damn thig before we even get out of here,_ Kellin thought sourly as the man stumbled backwards, clutching at his freely bleeding wound.

"Fools!" screamed the master vampire, though there was a note of panic in her voice now. You can't eliminate two pathetic adventurers?"

The injured thrall threw himself at her, sword held high, ready to chop her in two. No help for it, then-- Kellin took a deep breath, then shouted " _Yol!_ "

Flame erupted from the word, and the thrall screamed, falling backwards. The smell of burning meat was stomach-turningly strong.

The other thrall fell-- Inigo had managed to get some distance between them, apparently, for the poor bastard had an ebony arrow through his eye. Kellin and Inigo turned as one to the master vampire.

She ran.

She didn't get very far. An arrow took her in the back of the knee and she stumbled, fell. A second arrow caught her shoulder and she shrieked in rage and pain. Kellin caught up, raising her sword high.

"What _are_ you?" The vampire hissed, face contorted in anger and fear.

"I'm the Dragonborn," Kellin answered, before bringing the sword down and chopping off her head.

For long moments they just listened and breathed, but nothing moved in the caverns now. The fledgling coven of vampires was dead. Kellin panted and looked at Inigo, who seemed to be no worse for wear. "You alright?"

"Only winded, my friend." Inigo grinned his kitty grin. "Well then. Shall we search the bodies?"

The thralls didn't have much on them-- a few gold, a lockpick or two. The master vampire, though-- she had a fat pouch of gold and a silver key. Keys tended to unlock good things, so Kellin held onto it while they searched the other vampire.

"Armor, not too badly damaged," Inigo said, crouching over her. "Ebony boots-- they will sell for much coin. Let me see... Ah, gold!" He let the coins clink between his deft fingers. "More than a hundred. Did I not tell you I smelled coin down here?"

Kellin snorted. "I make more than that killing giants for jarls' bounties. Anything else?"

"A potion." He shook it, then unstoppered the bottle and took a sniff. "Ah, an enchanter's potion. Very valuable. For you, my friend. I have no talent for enchanting."

"Look around the cavern," Kellin said, tucking the potion away in her backpack. "Let's see if we can find what this key opens."

It wasn't hard to find-- the iron banded chest sat upon a makeshift altar to Namira. Kellin checked it over for traps, but it appeared to be clean. She set the key in the lock and turned.

Inigo practically purred as the lock clicked and Kellin hoisted open the lid. Inside lay a beautiful trove-- more gold, three sapphires, a ruby (flawless, from the looks of it), a dwarven bow that glimmered dully with magic, and an ebony dagger. Kellin looked around, and there next to the chest was a scroll-- _Bane of the Undead_ it read. Expensive _and_ useful.

Inigo winked at her. "Complications aside, I do believe I was right about this cave." He cocked his head to one side, as if listening to something only he could hear. "Mr. Dragonfly is very pleased as well. Let us head back to Riften and make use of our new riches."

"First I'm going to make use of a bath," Kellin said, nose wrinkling. "I'll never get the smell of burned thrall out of my hair."

"Perhaps a swim in the lake is in order? The guards tend to give us funny looks when we show up covered in blood."

Kellin laughed. "Do they? I'd think they'd be used to it by now."

They left the cave, carting out their haul. Vampires aside, it had been a pretty successful day. Maybe now Kellin would have enough to buy that pretty little house, Honeyside....


End file.
